Amanda LePore – The WOW Report

Welcome to our Sunday morning Longer Reads section. It’s your chance to catch up on some of the more interesting and obscure news items you might have missed. This week: Poop-fueled buses, cyborg cockroaches, and the coming cocaine shortage.

LA Weekly‘s investigative report on the gay wing of the LA County Jail is hysterical, shocking, eye-opening, brilliant, and informative. Kind of makes you want to get arrested just to see it for yourself.

Oh dear. Vice magazine says climate change might deliver a serious blow to cocaine production. I would tell you to start stockpiling, but who are we kidding? Nobody in the history of the world has ever been able to save cocaine for later.

i-D explains why Robert Mapplethorp matters now more than ever.

Cyborg cockroaches are coming, and that’s a good thing, explains Digital Trends.

Ding! Ding! All Aboard Britain’s new “Poo Bus,” which runs on the pressurized methane of its passenger’s feces. It needs at least five people to poop to get from Bath to Bristol. Read about it in The Register.

Speaking of Poo – Is Winnie the Pooh transgender or intersex? One town in Poland thinks so. Read about it in The Advocate.

TV Guide says the CW’s Supernatural has a queerbaiting problem that NEEDS TO STOP. Interesting and thought-provoking, even if you don’t watch the show.

The Daily Beast thinks Eminem’s tired, juvenile misogyny NEEDS TO STOP. And I couldn’t agree more.

Slate wonders if Foxcatcher – the new Steve Carrell/Channning Tatum ode to “rough trade” – is homophobic. Sometimes just asking the question is proof that it is.

In FT magazine, Douglas Coupland ponders the meaning of money.

Obituaries for the flamboyant Duchess of Alba –who had more titles than any other person on the planet, being a duchess seven times over, a countess 22 times and a marquesa 24 times – in The Telegraph and The Guardian. What a life. What a dame. They don’t make ‘em like that anymore.

Yes, Hannibal Buress was right to call out Bill Cosby, but The Daily Beast points out Hannibal’s own material is often littered with problematic rape jokes.

The Washington Post: You old, embarrassing tweets just got much easier to find.

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The New Yorker looks for meaning in “Too Many Cooks“: Is it “a postmodern satire of television and Web culture, a commentary on the power of nostalgia, a glimpse at the violence that lurks within us all? Perhaps it is a deconstruction on the very idea of virality itself: it’s the Internet that has too many cooks, and all of us, together, with our sharing and repeated clever comments and urge to be the first to share what thousands of others have already shared, have spoiled the broth.”

The Hollywood Reporter has 5 Fun Facts about it.

Sesame Street has the (inevitable?) parody: “Too Many Cookies” starring Cookie Monster (and Cookie Monster and Cookie Monster with special guest Cookie Monster, but not – thankfully – the serial killer).

i-D magazine has a think-piece about how #AlexFromTarget is welcoming in a golden age of boy-next-door beauty. Yes, seriously. “Somehow that blurry photo of a teenage cashier has become today’s equivalent of Caravaggio’s ‘Boy with a Basket of Fruit,’ a much-lusted-after image of everyday boyhood. Ordinary people are turned into stars overnight, as if in a fairytale. What does this say about our changing concept of beauty?”

So…. Health Goth is a thing now. Alexander Wang gets it. Rick Owens gets it. Even Kylie Jenner gets it. Do you?

Nicky Haslam waxes nostalgically about the genius of Cecil Beaton’s interiors in The Guardian.

A story in The New York Times which seriously came as a shock to me: Millennials don’t own TVs. Don’t need to. They consider it a passé symbol of their parent’s generation, like landlines or refrigerator calendars. They watch everything on their phones, tablets, and computer screens. Everything? EVEN GAME OF THRONES?

Also in The Times: Megan Daum spent several days in a medically-induced coma, hovering between life an death. She writes about how it changed her, spiritually (SPOILER ALERT: Not at all). Fascinating read about America’s need for redemption narratives and its corollary, the recovery narrative.

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With a hostile, Republican-ruled House and Senate, What can Obama actually accomplish in his last two years? Slate has the list.

WHAT A TURKEY: Entertainment Weekly lists the 15 most maddening plot holes in Interstellar.

And just how accurate is the The Theory of Everything?

Catching up with cultural warrior/performance artist Karen Finley in the New York Times.

Beautifully written: “Notes on the Exotic” in the New Yorker.

Also in the New Yorker: A 1962 article on the first year of the Berlin Wall.

In Vocativ: Do anti-bullying campaigns really even work?

NPR wonders if the LGBT community’s mono-maniacal focus on gay marriage is preventing us from achieving genuine equality.

Gen-Xers have hit middle age, and as usual we’re waaaaay over-thinking it, as this Salon piece illustrates.

Slate wonders: Should archives allow horrific images of eradicated diseases, suffering patients, and antiquated treatments available to the public?

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What we still don’t know about Ebola (is A LOT), in The New Yorker.

Also in The New Yorker: How Tim Cook’s coming out signals the end of gay rights as a Republican wedge issue.

Why teens sext: The Atlantic investigates. (I’m just going to go out on a limb here and guess: hormones?)

LA Times reports that McSweeney’s is becoming a non-profit, which begs the question: If McSweeney’s can’t make a go of it, what hope is there for other independent presses?

The Independent has a list of the catchiest songs of all time, and SPOILER ALERT number one is really ZIG-A-ZIG AHHHH.

Awwww. Vulture has the opposite trajectories of Ryan Reynolds’ and Bradley Cooper’s careers.

An interview with PEPPER! from American Horror Story in Salon.

The New York Times obituary of photographer David Armstrong, famous for exploring the often overlapping worlds of gay men, drug addicts, transvestites, fashion models and artists.

i-D argues the case for nostalgia.

Ask Polly: Would He Love Me If I Were Skinnier, Prettier, or Sweeter? A kick-ass response.

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The future of porn promises to be 1000% more IN YOUR FACE, says The Daily Beast.

The New York Times goes to the few Times Square peep shows left for a glimpse of porn’s past.

Must-Listen: Lady Bunny sounds off on the changing face of gay culture in the Feast of Fun podcast.

i-D has an interview with Andrew Logan on 42 years of The Alternative Miss World pageant.

BuzzFeed interviews the scientists who may have found the cure for drug addiction.

Although The Washington Post says hardly anyone uses heroin anymore so what’s the big deal? Why freak out over it?

The semiotics of being a “basic bitch” in New York Magazine.

THE SUPERHUMANS ARE COMING! THE SUPERHUMANS ARE COMING! (says Nautilus magazine)

Politico has how the Republicans lost the culture war (seems pretty obvious to me: They alienated the young, the gay, the non-white voters, and women DUH).

HuffPo wonders what happened to that young, energetic guy full of promise who ran for office in 2008. What was his name? Barack something-or-other?

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A panel of experts on HuffPo Live debate whether it should be legal for consenting adult siblings to have incest.

Explosive new evidence suggests that Sid DIDN’T kill Nancy. Read about it in The Daily Mail.

“I really envied the guy who laid in the bathtub at the Mineshaft every night. He really owned it. The Mine Shaft was his Cheers.” – True tales of ’80s nightlife in PAPER magazine.

YOU GUYS: WHY ISN’T ANYONE TALKING ABOUT NICK JONAS’ HAIRY ASS? (They are at HuffPo Gay)

The horror: PTSD after waking up under anesthesia in The Atlantic.

As Jean Paul Gaultier announces his retirement from ready-to-wear, i-D examines how he changed fashion…. and the WORLD.

John Galliano has been tapped to design for Margiela. The Washington Post finds it a jarring fit.

Also in The Washington Post: What is “Explainer Journalism” and why it’s so wrong.

In Salon: Why Raven-Symone and a lebian couple from Ohio illustrate the fight to assert one’s humanity.

The New York Times investigates whether putting a #hashtag in a title is a trend that is backfiring.

Vice has an interview with the Weekly World News reporter who created Bat Boy in the 1980s

Do you harbor a secret fantasy to own and run a neighborhood bar? Slate thinks you should give it up.

And finally: Ever since the ’60s, drugs have been used to bring about social revolution. i-D wonders what our drugs choices say about us today.

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Bret Easton Ellis writes in Vanity Fair about the too sensitive, too narcissistic, and too stupid Millennials, or as he calls them, “Generation Wuss.” SING IT, SISTER!

As a plane begins its potentially fatal crash landing, a passenger pulls out his phone, takes a selfie, and films what could be the last moments of his life. The New York Times says it’s symptomatic of life (and death) in the iPhone age.

Jay Roberts was a young Marine who spent a single, unforgettable afternoon with a notorious serial killer. Orange Coast magazine has his haunting and beautifully written account of that day, and I promise you: His story will stay with you a loooong time. If you only read one article today, make it this one.

The Daily Beast takes a hard look at Ello (which being touted as THE NEXT FACEBOOK, OMG), and predicts it won’t survive the year.

Meanwhile, HuffPo‘s Michelangelo Signorile profiles Sister Roma (of the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence) who is leading the charge against Facebook’s Real Names Policy.

It’s the Battle of the Early 20th Century Female Authors and “the Anxiety of Influence” over at The New Yorker! In this corner, stuffy old Edith Wharton! Her competitor? Uber-bitchy iconoclast Virginia Woolfe! It’s icon versus icon! You can’t afford to miss this historical bout!

New York magazine has the incredible story of an 18th century sex-change operation. Yes, you read that right. The year was 1779, when a surgeon named Thomes Brand made the decision to “return a child to his proper gender.”

An Illinois teacher tweets his classroom discussions. Read about it in The Atlantic.

Elizabeth Wurtzel gazes at her navel.

And finally: Contemplating a New York City without any dive bars in The New York Times.

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The Daily Beast takes us, kicking and screaming, Inside Napa’s State Hospital for the Criminally Insane.

No, “going lesbian for a year” is not an acceptable hobby, says The New Statesman.

Buzzword, graph, celebrity example: Generic trend piece in highbrow magazine is funny because it’s true.

Simon Doonan on the death of his homophobic, emotionally withholding dog, Liberace.

Friday was International Talk Like a Pirate Day. Slate explains why they actually talk like that. The answer will surprise you.

From Salon: An interview with an actual asexual!

What happens when we all live to 100, in The Atlantic.

Also in The Atlantic: What internet vernacular reveals about the evolution of language.

Michael Musto spends time with the decidedly unpolished drag queens of Brooklyn’s Bushwig festival.

An interview with Brigitte Bardot on the occasion of her 80th birthday in The Guardian.

The New York Post: Julian Casablancas left New York because of brunch.

Also in The Guardian: “The English are unrestrained wild beasts and totally out of control,” says Portugese writer João Magueijo. “British homes are less clean than my grandmother’s poultry cage. Their diet is deplorable and fish and chips is a dish that makes you want to wash it with detergent before eating. The north is hideous, the class system the source of reciprocal fear and hate. And then there’s the drinking, and the shagging, illustrated through a number of eye-popping anecdotes involving projectile vomit and casual blowjobs. I never met such a group of animals.” HA! It’s funny because it’s true!

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Fuckin’ Facebook, man. Why Facebook is cracking down on the drag community, in Slate.

It’s Facebook vs Drag Queens in the Wallstreet Journal.

Read more about the uproar in The Guardian, Salon, Business Insider, DeathandTaxes, Towleroad, and The Edmonton Journal, among others.

Pink News reports openly gay San Francisco supervisor David Campos has now called on Facebook – which is based near his district – to meet with the drag community. He said: “I have reached out to Facebook and am working to schedule a meeting at City Hall between Facebook officials and local drag queens as soon as possible.” We’ll see how far that gets.

What can you do? Sign this petition at Change.org and spread the word. Remember: First they came for the drag queens….

Ironically, here’s an article about “the tiresome culture of outrage” in The LA Times.

In Salon, two authors travel across the country visiting independent bookstores, and report that BOOKSTORES LIVE!

The surprising theory why so many Disney characters are motherless, in YahooCelebrity.

Adulthood is dead, cries The New York Times. Vulture agrees, and adds that Seth Rogen is now more serious than Woody Allen.

In the Daily Beast: Why porn is leading the fight for net neutrality.

From celebrity nudes to Ray Rice’s domestic abuse to the ISIS beheadings, The Atlantic has an unresolved debate about what pics should be published, what pics should be taken, and what pics should be shared.

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Let’s just do this: How Joan changed the face of fashion forever in the Daily Mail.

Joan’s 50 best jokes in Vulture.

Remembering Joan’s iconic style in The Cut (I was partial to her ’80s big-hair-and-ballgown phase when she thought she was Nan Kempner) .

A fascinating remembrance “”Joan Rivers Always Knew She Was Funny” in New York

This is interesting: Read a previously unpublished chapter from Charlie & the Chocolate Factory in The Guardian.

Also in The Guardian: A brief history of psychedelic psychiatry.

Because it needs to be said: Vanity Fair‘s 7 Tips for Surving Fashion Week.

In “Mullets I Have Loved” David Keeps and Suzan Colón reminisce about working at Star Hits magazine in its ’80s heyday.

15 movies everybody will be talking about after the Toronto Film Festival.

ENOUGH, ALREADY! According to Salon: Hipster bashing has become a stand-in for anti-intellectualism, middle class resentment, and subtle homophobia. So STOP IT!

The Most Overrated Albums of the ’90s. Yeah, we’re looking at YOU, OK Computer.

Bestiality is on the rise in Europe. Vice has the investigation and gripping mini-doc.

In Slate: How Saved By the Bell invented the tween, and other reasons you shouldn’t have been so quick to dismiss that SBTB biopic on Lifetime.

And finally, dealing with digital cruelty, in The New York Times.

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It was revealed this week that Hello Kitty is not a cat. She’s a teenage girl. And if that wasn’t shocking enough, The New Yorker wants you to know the truth about these OTHER cartoon characters.

Porn Again: The Spectator takes a look at the middle-aged men and women warped by internet porn.

Of course, nothing really matters because government researchers think we’re all just living in a 2D hologram. Read about it in VICE.

Hilary’s gay rights evolution is chronicled in The New York Times.

In Slate: Taylor Swift’s Machiavellian move from country to pop, and how the horrid “Shake It Off” debuted at number one.

Why there should never, ever, ever be a Full House reboot.

And why The Simpsons can never get its mojo back.

Is the facekini the future of beachwear? The Daily Beast thinks so.

And finally: Why THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT STORY YOU WILL EVER READ and how Facebook plans to cut down on click-bait.

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Slate exposes the sad and disturbing world of Koko the gorilla.

The US Copyright Office has weighed in the case of the monkey selfie, and decided that “works produced by nature, animals, and plants” do not belong to the animals or plants that produce them (sorry Groot), they belong in the public domain, and furthermore, so do “works purportedly created by divine or supernatural beings.” Ok…. but does that law also apply to ROBOTS?

If you’re worried about the coming robot revolution as much as I am, I beseech you to watch “Humans Need Not Apply” – the mini-doc on how robots are going to take away your earning power.

Not so fast, says The New York Times. Robots aren’t going to take your jobs because they lack common sense! (FOR NOW).

A prominent law professor addresses addresses why Officer Darren Wilson of Ferguson hasn’t been arrested yet.

Salon catches up with our old friend Jonah Falcon, the guy with the world’s largest penis. SPOILER ALERT: His massive schlong has not brought him happiness and prosperity.

Check this out, bro: The origin and history of the word “bro” and why overuse suggests the word might be on the way out.

GQ has a profile of the legendary North Pond Hermit, who lived alone in the woods of Central Maine for nearly 30 years, and survived on what he could steal from the local townspeople in the dead of the night.

From Oddity Central: Professional Poo Diver Loves his Stinky Job!

Michael Musto lists the 10 Best Bad Movies of All Time.

And The Atlantic explores the psychology behind the word “the” in a band’s name.

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The Onion nails it: Tips for Being An Unarmed Black Teen.

From VICE: How to avoid being an exploding corpse after you die.

This will make you sad: Mental Floss has 11 smells that are disappearing from our world.

Robin William’s death, and how we mourn on social media in The New York Times.

In case you missed it: Lauren Bacall’s obituary in The New York Times.

Boy Culture has an incredibly comprehensive list of the last Golden Age stars left standing.

Vanity Fair revives the old Spy magazine Nightlife Decathlon.

The LA Times has a wrist-slittingly accurate game: So You Want to Be a Writer?

Last month, a North Carolina mother was arrested for letting her 9-year-old daughter play at the park, unattended. Which is RIDICULOUS. When I was nine, I drove a truck from Florida to Kentucky! BY MYSELF! And lived in a cave with a hibernating bear! I tell you, kids today are wussies. Slate tracks kid’s freedoms through the last seventy years.

A HuffPo reporter tries group masturbation! Wheeeeee!

The Daily Dot explains the problem with James Franco’s queerbaiting. And here’s a remedial lesson on what queerbaiting is, any why media queerbaiting tactics, in general, are wrong.

10 things not to do as a New Yorker visiting LA, via The Homemaker.

Why BuzzFeed is shifting its strategy. And why they’ve quietly deleted nearly 5,000 old posts.

And finally, to end on a disturbing note: From Matter magazine: You’re 16, you’re a pedophile, you don’t want to hurt anyone… what do you do now?

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In praise of back hair on The Dish,

An incredibly lengthy puff piece of Vine star Nash Grier on HuffPo Gay (odd, considering his recent homophobic rant. Damage control anybody?)

Forget Ebola. We’re all going to die of Valley Fever.

“I had no idea I’d been sex trafficked”: A terrifying true story in Salon.

Simon Napier-Bell: The ultimate rock n’ roll gossip in the Times of London.

The troubles and triumphs of fat, gay men in Slate.

Simon Doonan has 10 ways to stay chill in the heat of the summer.

Hmmm. If monkeys can own selfies, what other rights should they have? Check out the debate in Wired.

Also in Wired: When robots take all our jobs, what’ll be left for us to do?

How culture affects madness in The New Republic: An anthropologist asks schizophrenics around the world to describe the voices in their heads.

Also in The New Republic: Why did those two US missionaries get the Ebola serum while Africans are left to die?

And finally, the rise and fall… and rise again?… of superstar celebrity journalist Kevin Sessums in The New York Times.

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What you need to know about the Ebola outbreak in the New York Times.

Also: The Ebola virus is outpacing efforts to control it, World Health body warns.

And: Ebola vaccine is possible, but many doubts persist.

How ravers became the new hippies in The New Republic. Interesting, but would have been more interesting 20 YEARS AGO.

In Salon: Why “the Money Shot” became the defining aesthetic of modern porn.

9 things to know about raising the recently dead in Wired

Film Noir “The Elusive Genre” in The New Yorker

Musty on the 13 best clubs in New York history.

Slate wonders if we still need gay resorts like P-town and Fire Island.

GAY SHAME & GRINDR at Gay HuffPo.

JAWDROPPING. UNBELIEVABLE. TRAGIC. 11 heinous lies conservatives are teaching America’s schoolchildren in Salon.

The Washington Post has a story about the Amish prisoners enjoying modern conveniences in Pennsylvania prisons.

Theodore Van Kirk, the last surviving crew member of the Enola Gay, the B-29 Superfortress that dropped the atomic bomb on Hiroshima in the last days of World War II, died this week. The New York Times obituary makes you wonder about the morality of men at war.

And finally, for a giggle: The 10 bands you will be forced to listen to in Hell.

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Salon has a fascinating investigation into the history of swearing.

“Buzzenfreude” – Why everyone is gleefully pouncing on BuzzFeed’s plagiarism scandal, at Slate.

Gay Cities lists the 11 types of gay bars, and why they matter now more than ever.

Bear with me. One last column on the Great T-Word Debate of 2014 – From Slate: “Conservatism in the LGBTQ Movement.”

“Sing to Me, O Muse (But Keep It Brief): The New York Times says the future of poetry lies on Twitter.

The Washington Post pointedly notes that in 13 seasons, Project Runway has yet to launch a true fashion star (as they repeatedly promise).

In The Daily Mail: John McCain condemns the two-hour execution of Arizona killer Joseph Rudolf Wood, saying it was “torture.” And the man knows from torture. What gets me is that they can euthanize a dog in 15 seconds, but for some reason they keep botching up these executions. Something’s just not right.

The Independent says that watching TV after work makes you feel like a failure. I could have told them that.

i-D takes Suzy Menkes to task for revealing the identity of the Maison Martin Margiela designer (fashion’s biggest secret).

And finally… The REAL problem with sexy profile pics.

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If you haven’t read the controversial Time magazine piece “Dear White Gays: Stop Stealing Black Female Culture,” it would behoove you to do so now.

Gay man pens rebuttal: “Dear Black Women: White Gays Are Your Allies, Don’t Push Us Away.”

Autostraddle has a rebuttal for his rebuttal.

HuffPo tells Time to stop telling gay men how to act.

New York magazine explains that it’s not so much white gays stealing from black women, but white gays stealing from black drag queens, which makes it all OK? Hmmmm. But aren’t the black drag queens ALSO stealing from black female culture? Which, by the transitive property, leads us right back to the beginning? I don’t know. I’ve lost track of who’s right and who’s wrong.

Black women, it seems, are ALSO upset with Iggy Azalea who “mistakes appropriation for artistry, and [pushes them] to the sidelines” – this, according to Salon.

i-D magazine has a piece on how Instagram’s constant stream of it-girls with fabulous gifted outfits at A-list parties can make you absolutely LOATHE fashion.

In PAPER: Mikey Musto lists the 10 WORST CLUBS IN NEW YORK HISTORY.

The Washington Post explains the plan to split up California into six separate states, and why.

Salon has the story of a Virginia father who recently traveled to Bir Tawil, an 800 square mile territory between Egypt and Sudan, to plant a flag designed by his three children and, thanks to a century-old land dispute over one of the few remaining unclaimed lands in the world, declared it for his 7 year-old daughter Emily. Making her the princess of North Sudan. What a great dad. I’m sure she’s not going to grow up to be an entitled brat. No sireee.

Salon also disputes Malcom Gladwell’s 10,000 minute rule: “If you practice the necessary 10,000 hours you can reach the zenith of your field.” I do, too, for the record.

And finally, in The New York Times: Stalking the shadow universe of dark energy. I don’t get it either, but I’m sure nuclear-physicist-tuned-astronaut Scarlett Johansson will be exploring it in a summer blockbuster this time next year.

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BREAKING NEWS: OLD MAN YELLS AT CLOUDS: Will Self proclaims this generation is fucked. Find out why in i-D

Much handwringing in The Guardian because writers can no longer afford to write.

HuffPo After Dark interviews drag legend Linda Simpspn on the evolution of drag from the late ’80s to today.

Turning “Likes” into a career: The New York Times on how social media stars are using Twitter, Instagram, and Tumblr to build their career.

BEWARE! Hamster cannibals in Slate!

Everything we know so far about Better Call Saul, in Vulture.

Tips for having a great one-night stand, in Salon.

Also in Salon: What you do post-sex (cuddle? sleep? get a sandwich?) says a lot about who you are.

In defense of Britney’s auto-tuning in The Daily Beast.

Trans civility in The Washington Post: “How do I introduce my transgender son or daughter?”

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Absolutely riveting account of Justin Bieber’s cosseted and feral life in Vulture. Seriously, if you read ONE article this week, read this one.

Slate explores why we don’t have a gay A-lister in Hollywood yet.

When Mexico chants “Puto” during the World Cup, it’s actually a rather sophisticated bit of word play.

New York magazine reports: Publishing bigwigs gather to deal with problem of Amazon.

An interesting article in Salon about a death doula.

Bruce Villanch on How to Write for the Academy Awards

In PAPER magazine: The 25 gayest cartoon characters of all time.

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The true history of the Stonewall riots at Back to Stonewall

New York magazine has a pictorial history of the early days of Gay Pride.

“Don’t sneak” – A dad’s unexpected advice to his gay son in the 1950s, at NPR.

At Salon: The history of heterosexuality. It’s shorter than you think.

At the Daily Dot, a level-headed, non-screechy, non-judgemental look at those infamous Bryan Singer parties.

Justin Vivian Bond writes a level-headed, non-screechy, non-judgemental artical about the “t” word in The Stranger.

Quite out of the blue, a group of chimpanzees in Zambia have started following a “fashion trend” by wearing a blade of grass in their ear. Read about it at The Science of Us.

A survivor of Auschwitz teams with a German rap duo. Read about it in the New York Times.

In The Daily Mail, scientists simulate sending quantum particles back in time. Yes, TIME TRAVEL IS BECOMING A REALITY! YOU HAD BETTER WATCH OUT SCOTT JACKMAN IN 8TH GRADE! I’M COMING FOR YOU!

And Fear Not the Coming of the Robots.

An interview with Rufus Wainright at ChicagoPride.com.

Slate explains why people hate Cristiano Ronoldo.

The Daily Beast revisits the the ’90s when Judas Priest went to trial over the suicides of two teen boys.

And finally, in New York magazine, just how in the hell did Hilary Clinton become Marie Antoinette?

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Linguist and language creator David Peterson teaches a new course: “Conversational Dothraki.” Read about it in Salon.

PAPERmag has nightlife survivors discussing how much cooler New York used to be. Duh.

Interesting article in The New Yorker about how a gay kiss between SIMS characters changed video games forever, and how it happened quite by accident.

Porn star Aurora Snow explains to the Daily Beast why threesomes are never fun in real life.

The Vulture thinks that Shakespeare’s tragedies, like, totally suck and are soooo unbelievable.

The story behind that “Go You Chicken Fat, Go” song in the Apple commercials is actually pretty fascinating. Read all about it in the Daily Kos.

Uh, we have pubic hair FOR A REASON, guys. Stop shaving it off.

Teller, of Penn & Teller, writes in The Smithsonian about the neuroscience of manipulating the human mind.

Jezebel investigates the dangerous and grotesque trend of rosebudding. DON’T READ. PROMISE ME YOU WON’T CLICK OVER AND READ. YOU DON’T NEED TO KNOW ABOUT THIS.

Woman who became famous for blogging about her son’s illnesses is arrested and charged with poisoning him. Read about it in The New York Times.

i-D magazine has Harmony Korine’s five most iconic looks (yes, the Bunny Boy from Gummo makes the list)

Important: Slate breaks down the YouTube controversy, where artists (including Adele, Radiohead, and Arctic Monkeys) who don’t agree with their (unfair) terms will be removed from the site.

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In HuffPo, a father discovers his 9-year-old son has a “type”: Pretty boys with dark hair.

Man gives up sitting for an entire month. Read the day-by-day account in New York magazine.

Make no mistake: Jayne County is the REAL Hedwig.

Salon lists the 8 things Americans get wrong about sex.

The Daily Beast asks: If not Hilary, then who? Without her, the Dems have NO ONE.

The Daily Beast also asks: Is Jack White the last real rock star?

Louis CK goes up against TMZ

The New York Times on the Uber revolution.

NASA’s obstacle-filled path to Mars.

In The Telegraph: The man who coined the term “metrosexual” says it’s all about “spornosexuals” now, i.e. sporty, porno-looking dudes. Um, yeah, no. That’s not going to catch on, dude.

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From The Guardian: Will Self pontificates (in that way that he has) about the death of the novel. Fascinating and upsetting and very likely true.

The Hollywood Reporter wonders if Justin Bieber’s racist jokes will negatively impact his career (SPOILER: They won’t).

Remember that time Tom Cruise jumped on Oprah’s couch? The Village Voice examines our mass delusion because IT NEVER HAPPENED.

From tween fashion blogger to feminist editrix to Broadway and movie actor, Tavi Gevinson is embarking on her next project: being a grown-up. (How is that possible?)

The Washington Post reports on a project to send religious and historical artifacts to the moon for safe keeping, just in case, you know, we all blow each other up.

Hey. Why don’t we have flying cars yet?

Vulture has a spoiler-laden guide to making it through The Fault in Our Stars without crying.

Speaking of tears: Here’s a touching story in The Daily Mail about an airline gate attendant who brought Detroit Metro Airport to a standstill when she sang the National Anthem to a group of World War II veterans as they boarded their plane to France for the D-Day festivities.

Flashback: Here’s how The New York Times covered D-Day back in 1944.

A few years ago, Beyoncé Knowles was like any other record-breaking pop star in an already crowded field. Then something changed. The New York Times canonizes Bey.

Banana Facts!

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The New Yorker investigates how a raccoon became an aardvark thanks to the weird phenomenon known as Wikiality – wherein an error that appears on Wikipedia then trickles to sources that Wikipedia considers authoritative, which are in turn used as evidence for the original falsehood.

Near death experiences, explained in Salon.

The Stranger has a moving account of one boy’s coming out in Iran, where being gay can get you killed.

Is he harmless? Dangerous? Kind of cute but ultimately annoying? A timeline of Unkranian reporter Vitalii Sediuk’s red carpet “pranks.”

Norwegian author Karl Ove Knausgaard has written a 6-volume, 3,600 page autobiography that endlessly details the most pointless minutia of his life – and apparently it’s MESMERIZING! BRILLIANT! UN-PUT-DOWNABLE! Discover why critics and fans are falling over themselves to proclaim him THE NEXT LITERARY GOD in New York magazine.

In Saudi Arabia, they’ve translated Frozen into the Arabic equivalent of King James’ English. The New Yorker‘s explanation of why they did that is more interesting than the actual movie.

So apparently “vocal fry” is the new “uptalk” – The Science of Us explains why talking like a Kardashian makes you less attractive, less competent, less educated, less trustworthy, and ultimately less hirable. (As if you couldn’t have guessed)

HuffPo has an interview with Valencourt Books publishers James Jenkins and Ryan Cagle whose mission is to rediscover and republish early gay literature.

Slut-shaming and class: Why rich girls think lower-class girls are whores and why lower-class girls think are rich girls are whores. In Slate.

RIP Massimo Vignelli, the graphic designer behind the cult classic 1972 NYC subway map. Read about the creation of that here, and read what other designers thought of him here

PREVIOUSLY:

David Lachapelle is interviewed in OUT magazine about the about the firestorm of controversy his Love Ball poster has caused in Austria.

PAPER magazine lists the top 40 drag queens in New York.

The Daily Mail has the strange story of the twice-married, 51-year-old virgin. Really. You gotta read this one.

The Spectator has a piece on how chasing the Pulitzer has destroyed American journalism (which is why we’re all edited by Brits).

Kate Bornstein blogs about the T word.

Vulture has 10 theories about tonight’s mid-season finale of Mad Men (my money is on Megan’s plane going down).

The New York Times has an an interesting picture of the young Teddy Roosevelt watching President Lincoln pass by in a parade. Not exactly topical, but fascinating for history buffs.

Speaking of history: Open Vault has the complete public access debate about whether gay marriage should be legal… from a 1974 episode of PBS’s The Advocates.

The DMV lays out rules governing how self-driving or autonomous cars are tested by manufacturers on California roads. Which is one of those weird “THE FUTURE IS COMING! THE FUTURE IS COMING!” moments we should all acknowlege.

Conner Oberst talks to Lorde about being young and “it” in the Times music section.

The Alternative Press has why 5 Seconds of Summer are more important than you think.

The Anatomy of a Look: Vanity Fair has the breakdown Angelina Jolie’s villainous transformation in Maleficent.

The Atlantic looks back on Frank O’Hara’s iconic Lunch Poems – “21st Century Poems Written in 1964… Full of pop-culture references, Lunch Poems has all the brevity, informality, irony, and at times chatty pointlessness of modern discourse without having been influenced by it… O’Hara’s Lunch Poems — like Facebook posts or tweets— shares, saves, and re-creates the poet’s experience of the world.” They are, of course, ABSOLUTE BLISS.

Finally, a bit of fun from The New Yorker: “If You Let Your Teenage Daughter Sleep in on a School Day”

PREVIOUSLY:

Always the optimist, Michael Musto lists 10 ways New York nightlife is better than it was in the ’80s.

The New York Times states the obvious: Being bullied is bad for your health.

So you’re still confused about normcore (and avant-normcore and hardcore-normcore and brokecore and florcore)? The Cut breaks it down for you. (Short answer: Dress like Seinfeld)

Trend sherpa Bradford Shellhammer tell Medium the 5 ways to navigate design politics.

i-D reflects upon the 20-year anniversary of the making of the most expensive video of all time: “Scream” by Michael and Janet Jackson.

Molly Shannon’s party etiquette in W magazine. Sure, why not?

History, literature, religion and the arts are receding from public life, replaced by technology, statistics, science and math. Even the most elemental form of communication, the story, is being pushed aside for numbers and data. The nerds have won. They’ve taken over the world. Now what?

New York magazine says it pays to be overconfident, even if you have no nidea what the hell you’re doing. (Look to Kanye as your spirit animal)

Andy Warhol: The first king of selfies.

Gift ideas: Why not check out the 9/11 museum gift shop?

The paradox of art as work, in the Times.

The future of fashion is 3-d. Duh. It’s the future of EVERYTHING.

New York magazine asks: How much French do you need to know to live in Paris?

Also: The things that New Yorkers do that stun Parisians, and vice versa.

and The Atlantic investigates what the death of home pages means for the future of news and the future of blogging. Oh dear. On second thought: NEVER MIND! NOBODY READ THAT! IT’S NOTHING BUT HOGWASH AND POPPYCOCK! KEEP IT MOVING!

PREVIOUSLY:

Isn’t it ironic? We were all wrong to sneer at Alanis Morrissette in 1996. Turns out she actually DID understand irony, and Salon explains why.

The Daily Mail has a piece on the Chinese performance artist who had a rib removed onstage without anesthesia, then made a faaaaaabulous necklace out of it.

The Daily Beast asserts that Hilary is going to run without any challengers for the Democratic nomination.

Tina Brown pontificates on how Monica Lewinsky changed the media and “midwifed modern culture.”

Vanity Fair reports that the Queen is backing out of royal obligations due to “heavy garments.” Oh dear. It’s the beginning of the end, isn’t it?

A fascinating review in the New York Times of the Charles James exhibit at the Metropolitan Costume Institute.

In praise of Courtney Love via i-D magazine.

HuffPo explains how #hashtags became the raised fist of punctuation.

For the love of being liked: The New York Times thinks you and your desperate, approval-seeking tweets are pathetic.

The Daily Mail profiles Irene Triplet, the 84-year-old woman who is the only person still getting benefits from a civil war veteran (her father). Not as sweet and uplifting a story as you might expect.

And the different faces of Godzilla through the years.

PREVIOUSLY:

Death & Taxes has the story (and pictures) of the dead New Orleans socialite dressed in a pink feather boa, with a cigarette and champagne flute, propped up on a bench during her wake, overlooking the festivities. So punk rock.

Speaking of punk rock: Dangerous Minds has a report on why transgender punk pioneer Jayne County was banned from Facebook.

VICE has an A-Z Guide to Pizza that’s worth your time.

Salon, God bless ‘em, goes undercover to discover why having sex in a reststop men’s room is so much fun.

And for the ladies: My Boobs, My Burden.

Vulture has eight up-and-comers to watch this summer movie season. All you need to know is two words: BRENTON THWAITS! BRENTON THWAITS! BRENTON THWAITS! OMGOMGOMG.

From New York magazine: Why you need to deep-clean your Facebook account NOW.

Be Aware: Brunei has begun phasing in antigay law and will soon allow Death by Stoning. Read more in The Advocate.

The New York Times has advice on how to calculate the division of rent among roommates when rooms are of different sizes, have different amounts of closet space, or get varying degrees of light. It’s called Sperner’s lemma, and you’ll never, ever, ever understand it. Just split three ways and agree to pay the light bill for the one in the little room.

What does Joyce Carol Oates think of Twitter’s “lynch mob mentality”? Find out here!

In Slate: Linguistics professors look into the science of beatboxing.

After last week’s skin-crawling lethal injection disaster, The Daily Beast has an article about botched executions. Just ugh.

And finally, did you know that Will & Grace‘s first audience didn’t realize it was about a gay man? Queerty has a great quote from Debra Messing about that.

PREVIOUSLY:

Vulture argues: At this point George W Bush is actually a better artist than James Franco.

Vulture also has a fun interview with Neil Patrick Harris about Hedwig, dressing rooms, and how he gets all that glitter off every night.

BuzzFeed goes deep inside Bryan Singer’s wild Hollywood world of upwardly mobile twinks and the men who prey on them, oh my!

Vaguely related: Meet the Hollywood screenwriter by day, go-go dancer by night, Jeff Tetreault, who tells New York magazine he’s having “an awesome dick day.”

The Daily Mail uncovers why the British are such fashion victims. HA! Also how trends are interpreted by the various classes, which is something the British have always obsessed about.

30 internet famous people YOU NEED TO KNOW.

And a poignant interview with a formerly famous internet star.

Simon Doonan just wants everybody on TV to PUT THEIR DAMN CLOTHES ON.

To celebrate Shakespeare’s 450th birthday this week, Harper’s Bazaar has listed the best fashions from our favorite Shakespeare films.

Frazier Glenn Miller, the former KKK leader and anti-Semitic murderer, was once arrested with a black, cross-dressing hooker. The Daily Beast says that according to psychology and history, it’s not that surprising.

Slate has the poignant story of a daughter and the gay father she never knew.

Why Joan Rivers, Madonna, and, um, “OTHER CELEBRITIES” don’t owe you an apology, in Salon.

and The New York Times listens in as Liz Smith and Jess Cagel (of People and Entertainment Weekly) dish on just about everyone from Jackie O to Kim K.

PREVIOUSLY:

David Foster Wallace long ago warned that irony is ruining our culture. Salon thinks we ought to have listened.

Dame magazine reports that trans semantics is causing an uproar within the community, but is language REALLY the issue here?

Slate explores the science behind Transcendence. So… when will be able to upload Johnny Depp’s brain? And, more importantly, why would we want to?

After James Franco called the New York Times theater critic “a little bitch” on Instagram for giving his performance in Of Mice & Men a bad review, The Guardian says we have now entered into a new age of counter-criticism.

The Daily Beast tallies up every woman Don Draper has ever slept with.

And Vulture asks a serial killer expert to analyze every episode of Mad Men for links to the Manson Family murders (because OBVIOUSLY Megan is about to be killed by them).

Alice Hoffman has some… um… out-of-the-box suggestions for getting you started on that novel you’ve been meaning to write.

Newsweek reports on how Laverne Cox transformed the audience at the GLAAD Awards.

New York magazine announces that we have reached “Peak Beard Saturation” and has the scientific proof the trend is is OVER.

A lengthy piece on Cartoon Network’s iconic Adventure Time declares it is a “deeply serious work of moral philosophy, a rip-roaring comic masterpiece, and a meditation on gender politics and love in the modern world. It is rich with moments of tenderness and confusion, and real terror and grief even; moments sometimes more resonant and elementally powerful than you experience in a good novel.” And I thought it was just fun to watch in a k-hole.

The New York Times obituary for Gabriel Garcia Marquez, and over at Slate: What he meant to the people of Colombia (and why we can never TRULY get his novels).

Also in the Times: The complicated life of one of Philip Seymour Hoffman’s heroin connections.

Salon exposes Leonardo DiCaprio’s DARKEST SECRET: He’s actually deeply uncool.

Newsweek has earthshattering nerd news: Dick Grayson ISN’T DEAD after all! The former Robin-turned-Nightwing-turned-Batman (for a period) has gone deeeeep undercover and become… a secret agent? Yep, he’s basically Archer now. Greeeeeat move, DC.

Oh My Gah. Going braless is SO NORMCORE.

And finally, a rather salacious article in The Daily Beast goes inside Bryan Singer’s infamous twink pool parties. I saved it for last because you’re going to need a Silkwood shower after reading it.

PREVIOUSLY:

OMGOMGOMG! An interview with Brienne of Tarth! An interview with Brienne of Tarth! Game of Thrones star Gwendolyn Christie talks to IGN on the new challenges her character faces now that her quest with Janie Lannister has ended.

Have you heard about the cherry tree that was raised on the space station and stunned scientists by blooming six years earlier than it would on earth? Read about the far-reaching implications of that in the Daily Mail.

From Dior’s New Look to Bianca Jagger’s birthday party at Studio 54, Harper’s Bazaar has the most iconic moments in fashion history.

The Geldofs were Britain’s first celebrity family, long before the Osbournes and the Beckhams. The death of Peaches is the latest cruel twist in a tragedy the nation has watched unfold for decades. The Guardian tells the tale of one family’s epic suffering for Americans who don’t understand the fuss.

Mickey Rooney gave his life to show biz, the least you can do is read his obit in the Florida Sun Sentinal.

The Daily Beast implores you: For God’s sakes, don’t remember Barbara Walters for The View.

OMGOMGOMG! You MUST READ this investigative report about why people loathe “upworthy” headlines. IT WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE!

From Brandon Teena in Boys Don’t Cry to Swan in The Warriors – Dazed Digital ranks the most rebellious screen icons of all time

Salon debunks the myths of Alcoholics Anonymous.

Slate has some data on how Hilary could make a difference.

PREVIOUSLY:

In boingboing: Filmmaker, writer, and trans activist Andrea James writes about LGBT reactionaries throwing drag queens under the bus for “transphobic language” and the growing rift between the drag, gay, and trans communities.

Trans icon Calpernia Addams passionately sounds off on the same subject in the Huffington Post.

In The Atlantic: Scientists create Mars-like community in Hawaii to see if astronauts will get SPACE MADNESS when we begin colonizing it in the ’30s.

A fascinating tribute to the lasting legacy of DJ Frankie Knuckles, the Godfather of House music in The LA Times.

Moby reminisces about Klaus Nomi, the ’80s club scene, and the ’90s rave drugs in Vulture.

Just how risky is oral sex? Find out here. (The answer might surprise you)

The Daily Star says the comedian Jonathan Ross is starting his hunt for Britain’s Next Drag Superstar…

Noah is just the latest film to earn the wrath of the Christian right. Read about five other blasphemous movies in Salon.

Then read: The 10 Weirdest Things the Christian Right Thinks Will Turn Your Kids Gay.

From Slate‘s advice column: “Dear Prudence: My twin brother had a one-night stand with a girl, gave her my name and number as joke, then she and I started dating. We’re engaged now, should I tell her the truth?”

Gen X catastrophe in the making: How the coming inheritance boom is going to DESTROY THE NATION.

Slate asks: How do we instill journalistic ethics into our robot reporters?

The New York Times decrees that mankind is inherently spiteful, but you know what? That’s a GOOD thing!

A fun Q & A with Cyndi Lauper in The Guardian.

BBC News: A French couple has gathered a thousand on-line fan tributes to Pharrell’s “Happy”

So the Black Death wasn’t really the Bubonic plague after all? Read the new theories in Slate.

Swoonworthy rates the top ten hunks of Game of Thrones. (Grey Worm should have scored higher, just sayin’)

PREVIOUSLY:

Always tackling the most important stories of the day, HuffPo has 19 Very Real Struggles of Women with Big Butts.

The much buzzed-about New York Post article: “L’Wren Scott’s Suicide Reveals Tragic Side of City’s Glitzy Scene.”

Slate uses music theory to explain the genius of Daft Punk’s “Get Lucky” (Maybe next year they’ll tackle why “Happy” is so goddamn annoying).

Nile Rogers writes about Studio 54, Grace Jones, and the Disco backlash in New York magazine.

From Salon: Why Entertainment Weekly‘s decision to start paying writers with “prestige” rather than, you know, actual money is terrible for both writers and readers (and does not bode well for the future of pop culture).

Also in Salon: Why Gwyneth Paltrow’s utterly obnoxious “conscious uncoupling” letter proves she’s the last, great star, “worthy of the legacy of Bette Davis and Joan Crawford.”

Mental Floss investigates: Is the Five-Second Rule real?

The New York Times says millennials in the work place are shallow, callow, unmotivated, and undependable… just like every generation since the middle ages.

Also in the Times: Exploring the Salton Sea, the Sunken City and other modern ruins of Southern California.

Lead singer of cult metal band GWAR David Brockie aka Oderus Urungus found dead at 50. Read about it in Rolling Stone and Daily Mail.

PREVIOUSLY:

Nickelback, Smash Mouth, Goo Goo Dolls: Salon has the 15 most hated bands of the last 30 years. (But no fun.? No Mumford & Sons? I demand a recount!)

The must-have coffee table book of 2014 about the mob hit men of Murder Inc. will cost you exactly $4,200. But YOWZA, what a book! Read about it in the New York Times.

Washington Post has a fascinating obituary of the villanous Westboro Baptist Church founder Fred Phelps.

And HuffPo has the LGBT reaction to his death.

Arkansas school doubles down on decision to ban gay student’s coming out story in yearbook.

For all you hardcore Benson fans out there (you know who you are), Salon has the answer to how the series was supposed to end.

For when you absolutely need purple pleather harem pants on the run: Fashion trucks are about to become ALL THE RAGE.

Coming soon to the Great White Way: James Franco and Chris O’Dowdare reimagine Of Mice & Men as a bromantic comedy

Absolutely riveting video (if you’re into this sort of thing): Alexander Wang, Prabal Garung and Eddie Borgo analyze the concept of style at the SCADstyle 2014 conference. At Style.com

Liza Minnelli talks to the LA Times about Ellen, that blue streak, and her new show.

Why Ruth Bader Ginsburg must NEVER EVER retire from the Supreme Court in Slate.

Of Hippos and Kings: Archeologist and anthropologist Eric H Cline has a new book called 1177 B.C.: The Year Civilization Collapsed, and it sounds remarkably like today.. Read the review in the New Yorker.

PREVIOUSLY

Air & Space magazine magazine has a fascinating article about a 727 airline that vanished from Angola in 2003.

Daily Mail claims that the pilot of missing Flight MH370 was a political fanatic. This comes as police are investigating the possibility that he hijacked his own aircraft in a bizarre political protest.

OK, so we all think Flight 727 was hijacked, but just in case that gets disproven, New York magazine has other theories ranging from mechanical failure to alien abduction.

Kitty Genovese, whose 1964 rape and murder was witnessed by 37 bystanders who DID NOTHING, became a symbol about the unravelling of society, racial fears, and the lack of care exhibited by city dwellers for their neighbors. Now Off the Grid reports that Kitty was a lesbian. Did that have something to do with her neighbors’ responses (or lack thereof)?

The New York Times writes about the growing transgender presence in pop culture, talking to icons-in-the-making Laverne Cox, Janet Mock and wowlebrity Zachary Drucker.

Has the tv-star-to-movie-star career trajectory become outmoded? Vulture thinks so.

Why Mel Gibson deserves a second chance: Deadline pleads his case.

Salon has an expose on how to behave at an orgy.

10 famous geniuses and their drugs of choice, also at Salon.

One man’s mission to name an island after Busta Rhymes in Slate.

LAST WEEK’S LONGER READS:

What the hell happend to Jay McInerney? Slate examines the ’80s literary superstar’s unrealized potential.

Finally, someone details the difference between Death Metal and Black Metal.

The Independent examines the culture of rape in men’s prisons.

Semen allergies, broken penises, and spontaneous orgasms: Salon has six weird consequences of sex they don’t teach you in sex ed.

The New York Times Style section has a breathless investigation into the return of the monocle as the fashion accessory du jour for hipsters.

Slate has a bit of fun with Beyond the Monocle: Five Ideas for Future New York Times Hipster Trend Pieces including ruffs, powdered wigs, and plague doctor masks. Which, of course, I was wearing before they were cool.

The Guardian has grim news for authors: Not even award-winning best-selling authors are making money in publishing anymore.

Nightclubbing 101: An oral history of New York’s Pyramid Club as told by the trailblazing drag queens and performance artists who performed there.

Is belly dancing racist? Salon decrees it so.

The New Yorker has a humorous piece about 59-year-olds who look down their noses on 56-year-olds. Insolent pups!

PREVIOUS LONGER READS:

Sunday, March 2, 2014:

The inimitable Cindy Adams predicts tonight’s Oscars, as only Cindy can.

Who thanks who at the Oscars (No surprise: Meryl gets thanked more than God)

The Guardian has a piece imploring Academy voters not to give the Oscar to the documentary The Act of Killing (in which Indonesia’s political mass-murderers restage their slaughters).

The brilliant Douglas Rushkoff writes in Politico: “How Technology Killed the Future”

Slate has the 19 most common questions a trans person is asked.

The Atlantic has a fascinating interview with trans activist and memoirist Janet Mock.

New York magazine asserts the latest sartorial rage among hipsters is Normcore: the dad-brand non-style you might have once associated with Jerry Seinfeld.

Riveting stuff: Furniture shopping habits of the rich and famous at Salon.

Gawker profiles the adorable 101-year-old man who’s running for Congress, and really ought to win.

Fascinating article in The Economist about the controversial heroin treatment used in Switzerland and the Netherlands which sets up safe sites where users can inject while monitored by health-care staff and – in some cases – provides heroin itself free.

An investigation at Slate into the impenetrable time signature of The Terminator‘s musical score. Honestly, I wouldn’t mention it if I didn’t think it was REALLY INTERESTING.

W has a piece on venerable downtown fashion designer Andre Walker’s comeback. I still kick myself EVERY DAY for not buying some of those cookie-cutter outfits back in 1985 when I had the chance. STUPID JAMES!

The New Yorker translates what Ted Nugent was really trying to say when he called President Obama a “subhuman mongrel.”

Slate covers an exhibit at the National Museum of Australia showcasing convict love tokens – coins that had been smoothed over and then engraved with messages that prisoners gave to their sweethearts before leaving for penal colonies in Australia in the 18th and 19th century.

And finally, the Daily Beast has an update on Michael Alig and his post-prison plans.

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